


Desired Connection

by Straya



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Cockwarming, Consensual Somnophilia, Discussion of sexual acts, F/M, Minor Angst, Rose unblocking her resonance before meeting Sorey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23754505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straya/pseuds/Straya
Summary: Cuddling at night is all fine and good, but Dezel is interested in more. Trouble is, he's struggling to ask Rose permission for it and NOT be an awkward mess...
Relationships: Dezel/Rose (Tales of Zestiria)
Kudos: 22





	Desired Connection

He couldn't readily ask for it or even admit it, but Dezel enjoyed cuddling. That brand of intimate contact that was easiest to get right after sex or on a particularly cold morning, just before he and Rose got up to start their day. He loved the feeling of being bundled up under blankets, so wonderfully close to the human who meant more to him than any other, his nose buried in her hair or his face pressed against her neck or chest. The sound of Rose's slow, peaceful breathing as she drifted off to sleep was especially precious to him. Something he would relish as he lay awake a bit longer, his ability to read the air currents allowing him a deeper appreciation of her contented state than he was sure any human could ever manage.

The only problem was that Dezel was hungry for a little more. Not that sex didn't sate him, not in the least. Once he and Rose were worn down after a nice romp, he wasn't interested in another round until they had the chance to rest. The problem was more than he wanted something more _intimate_ than the vanilla cuddling they engaged in all night. Something that would keep them connected even more so than their arms around one another.

He wanted to be _inside_ her while they slept, that if he woke in the middle of the night, feeling particularly needy, he could press his partially hardened length into his lover and go back to sleep, warm, content and connected.

The issue with this, however, was naturally one of permission. Before Rose had ceased blocking her resonance, Dezel had used her body several times for practical ends. It was something they had discussed at length not long after he became visible to her. She had been understandably upset with him, forbade him from doing it again unless the situation was one of life and death. But ultimately it was a poor choice of his that they moved past, Rose learning to see him as a reliable partner...both on the battlefield and between the sheets.

Certainly, Dezel could and _should_ ask permission beforehand, since he had no intention of trying anything without Rose's say so. The trouble was in finding the words to do so and, once he did, not shoving his boot into his mouth. There was also the issue that entering Rose while she slept felt...dirty in a way, and not in the fun sense. Something that was more about him than about her. It seemed a delicate situation to approach, one that he wasn't sure he could manage without fouling it all up.

But one problem Dezel hadn't counted on was Rose figuring out that something was bothering him. Usually, her ability to be so observant was a boon but in this case, it felt more like a curse.

“You've been pretty quiet since waking up,” she said as she was getting dressed one morning while he finished washing up at the basin. “I mean, quieter than usual, anyway.”

“Just didn't sleep too well last night. Still waking up.” Dezel hoped Rose would buy that explanation as he dried his face off.

“Oh.” Rose was quiet a moment while she got her tunic on and began pulling on her belts. “Bad dreams or something? Or was I snoring?”

“You don't snore unless you're ill or have your face buried weirdly in a pillow. I don't really know what it was that kept me up.”

“Huh, 'kay.” She fell silent again, continuing to get dressed. “You know, if something's bothering you, you know you can talk to me about it, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Washing up complete, Dezel pulled on his shirt. 

“I mean, but do you really know?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know you're not good about talking about certain things. Which I know I'm kinda not either. Both of us are better at doing rather than talking, but I've been around you long enough to know how that mind of yours works.”

Dezel buckled his belts in place, arranging his various pouches before sitting down on the bed to get his boots on. “And how's that?”

“Let's just say you tend to put waaaay more thought into certain things than I do. Like to the point of overthinking and even worrying.”

“Tch, I'm not worried about anything. It's like I said before, I'm just tired.”

“Well, if that really is the case, don't overdo it today, huh?” Rose sat down beside him and put on her own boots. She then leaned up against him before tying them in place. “Can't have my dedicated guardian unable to keep up with me, either while I'm seeing to business or when we come back to the room later tonight!”

Dezel didn't bother to glance Rose's way, given he couldn't see her with his eyes and the air currents told him all he needed to know about her posture and expression, anyway. “I won't.”

She smiled and caught one of his hands in hers, kissing the back of it. “Good. I'll see you in the tavern, okay? I'll even order breakfast for you so it'll be cooking by the time you join me.”

Then she tied off her boots and was up and out the door, grabbing her jacket off a nearby chair before departing. Dezel remained seated on the bed a minute longer, blind gaze on the floorboards by his own boots.

It was such a stupid thing to be anxious about. Such a stupid thing to even want. It made him feel far too needy with nothing much to offer in equal exchange. Why was he even still considering it?

Pushing himself up off the bed, Dezel picked up his jacket and pulled it on before reaching for his hat. Maybe a hot breakfast would help clear his head and set him thinking straight again.

* * *

Breakfast, however, did not help him clear his head.

For the majority of the day, Dezel felt unusually more than one step behind Rose wherever she went and whatever she did. Typically, he was intent on paying close attention to any business transactions she engaged in while carefully monitoring the general vicinity around them for signs of danger. Yet his mind wandered, causing him to slip in and out of his trademark high level of awareness.

“Did you...not sense that shop keeper walking toward us?” Rose asked at one point as they stood outside the stables near the inn. The man in question was an acquaintance and after recognizing Rose on the street, had wanted to ask her about transporting wares. “You startled like you didn't know he was there until he almost right on top of you!”

Dezel grunted in annoyance and pulled his hat lower over his face by the brim. “My attention was just elsewhere.”

Rose eyed him with suspicion. “You really are out of it today, you know? You must've really slept like shit. I'm either not doing a good enough job of wearing you out or you need a break _from_ me wearing you out.”

Another irritated grunt. Dezel folded his arms across his chest and glanced away. “It's neither. Don't worry about it.”

“Kind of hard not to when you're acting like this. Maybe you should go back to the inn and take a nap. Or just disappear inside me and sleep that way. I'll be fine for a bit without you playing guard dog.”

Dezel could feel his cheeks flushing pink at the mere mention of being inside Rose while asleep, even if she hadn't meant it _that_ way. “I'm fine. We're close to being done for the day, so let's just finish up already.”

It was as Rose peered up at him, blue eyes narrowed in careful scrutiny, that Dezel realized that he had screwed up. He immediately tried to turn further away from her, but she was too quick, catching him by one arm and holding him fast. The temptation to vanish into her was strong, but Dezel forced himself to remain rooted to the spot. If he fled now, she would know for sure that something was up.

“Alright, mister, I don't know what's eating you,” she began in a low tone so as not to be overheard by any passerby, “but you've been like this all day and not talking about it isn't solving anything. So we're going to have a real conversation about this later tonight at the inn, alright?”

“Fine, whatever. Just let go of me already. People are going to notice.”

“I will, but after you promise me that we'll talk. I don't want you sneaking out on me.”

He sighed, defeated. “I promise, then. We'll talk. But later.”

Reluctantly, Rose released his arm. Shaking her head and huffing out a sigh, she then turned away and led the way down the street. They had a few more business-related stops to make before they could call it a day. Unfortunately, nothing had really changed for her guardian, however; if anything, Dezel was even more distracted than before. At that point, all he could do was be sure to keep out of Rose's way.

* * *

Dinner at the inn tavern was uneventful. Rose sat away from the other Sparrowfeathers, which allowed Dezel to sit with her while they ate in relative silence. Over the last few months, it had come to be that Eguille and the rest discovered that all of Rose's talk about a seraph among them was the truth, and although the idea still mystified them, they couldn't very well argue with how the second plate of food the boss ordered always managed to disappear on its own. It was an offering Rose said, something that pleased their seraphic watchdog and helped keep him strong in defending them all.

When the meal concluded, Rose took a little time to discuss the following morning's plans with a few of the others, then climbed the stairs to reach her room for the night. Dezel followed in her wake, his stomach churning more than he cared to admit, hardly helped by the beef bourguignon he'd had for dinner. When they reached the room, he entered second and moved to pull off his hat, jacket and gloves to set them aside, as was his usual custom. Rose, however, did not follow his lead and instead shut the door, leaning back against it with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Alright, so let's cut to the chase, Dezel. What's bothering you?”

Feeling his heart attempt to crawl up into his throat, Dezel did not turn to face her as he kicked his boots off. “Nothing of real consequence. Just...some stupid thing I got stuck thinking about.”

“If that really was the case, you wouldn't be so fixated on whatever's on your mind.” Rose walked over as he sat down on the side of the bed. “And really, Dezel? Are we going to play this game again? I thought we'd already worked out how you keeping things from me never ends well. How are we supposed to be good partners to each other if you won't talk to me when something's wrong?”

He didn't bother to look up. Instead, he focused on trying to still the butterflies in his stomach. “It's not...that anything is wrong. I...”

Rose frowned, then set one hand on the side of his head, stroking his hair a few times. “C'mon, Dezel. You can't be afraid to talk to me about something, can you? Whatever it is, I'm sure I won't get upset. We've already cleared the biggest hurdle between us, haven't we?”

“We have, yeah. It doesn't have anything to do with that. Not really.”

“Then what? Have I done something to upset you?”

“No, it's not that, either.” He licked his lips, nervous. Reaching up, he took her hand in his and held it gently. “I...wanted to ask you about something. But it's...it's just a stupid thing. I don't even know how to ask about it. Or more...ask _for_ it.”

Rose stepped closer, moving between his knees and using her free arm to draw him into a hug. “You're blushing again.” Her tone was lighter. Intrigued. “Just tell me what it is, Dezel.”

As he leaned against her, his head resting against her chest, Dezel could feel his face growing hot. This was so damn embarrassing. Why did such a small thing matter so much to him? Why had he let it eat him up like that? But as he turned enough to bury his nose in his lover's cleavage, he knew the reason why.

“I want...more,” he began with hesitation. His cheeks felt as though they were on fire. “More with you. More...while we're asleep.”

“Yeah, how so?” She stroked the back of his neck, likely hoping it would encourage him to stay calm and talk more.

He shivered and hugged her tighter. “I want to...fall asleep inside you more often, and wake up that way. And if I'm not in you when we fall asleep, I want...to get back inside you in the middle of the night, even if you're not awake.”

Rose laughed suddenly and Dezel felt his heart plummet from his throat into his stomach. He'd half expected her to say “no”, maybe even push him away, but her laughter was worse; it made him feel all the more foolish for even trying to ask. For wanting anything in the first place.

“I guess this is how it'll be for a bit until you learn to talk dirty and tell me what you want more often, which I do want you to do, Dezel. It's not as much fun if all you ever do is please me and not tell me how I can make you happy, too, you know.”

“I just...I didn't think it would be a good thing to ask for.” He chanced a glance up at her, stirring the air currents in a struggle to read her expression. To determine if she was joking or if this was more fond amusement on her part. “Like it might be using you again. Making the situation all about me.”

“I don't really think it is, but if it helps, you can tell me why you want that?”

He hugged her close again, leaning on her a little. Her fingers brushed back over his hair, trailing down the back of his neck. Lords, her touch was so good.

“I like being close to you. As close as possible. It...it makes me happy to be curled up with you. But...I'd like more. Something even more intimate. If that's alright with you.” He hesitated there, mouth partially open while he struggled to find the right words. Fought with himself over putting his vulnerable side on display. “Rose, I...”

His fingers curled against the fabric of her tunic and jacket, and in response, she cupped one side of his jaw in her hand and tipped his head up a little more. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, another to his temple, took in his scent and let him feel her warm breath over his scalp. As he melted against her, her hand moved a little higher, brushing his hair aside and tracing the curve of his ear, toying gently with the edge as though she were spoiling a puppy. He couldn't help but whimper softly and she smiled.

“You went a long time without anyone touching you, not even in a friendly way,” Rose said quietly. “I've thought about that at times, especially when I've woken up before you and found you pressed almost impossibly close to me. It doesn't surprise me that you're hungry for more. Though I'm not going to lie, some part of me thinks that it's kind of cute and funny that someone with such a badass way of carrying himself is such a softie in reality.”

Though he could tell he was blushing again, Dezel did nothing to hide it or pull away, too lost in the sensations Rose bestowed upon him. Her touch really was magic to him, somehow. One of the few things that could make his heart feel less heavy.

“I wouldn't be this way for anyone else.” His own words were a soft murmur as she held him, kissing him now and again while he slipped further into a state of relaxation. “No one else has your touch, your scent, your voice, your warmth...”

How had he become such a lovesick fool, he wondered from time to time. From watching Rose from a distance, admiring her and her abilities, to falling so head over heels in love with her. Thinking for the longest time that he would never have a chance, not with her blocked resonance and with the sins he had committed. Only to find out that when the barriers came down and forgiveness was granted him that she wanted him closer than any human she had ever invited into her quarters.

“I feel the same about you, you know.” She kissed him again and he moaned quietly, aching all over for her continued touches. Able to read his needs with ease, she let her hands feel down over his back, nails carefully raking him through his shirt. “So tell me where you want to spend tonight, Dezel...”

“Pressed closed to you and inside of you...” He was crumbling from the inside out, eyes slipping shut while she worked him over gently. “Please, Rose, can I...?”

“You can, even if I'm asleep,” she whispered in his ear. “And I promise finding you there when I wake up later will be a nice surprise. Now get your shirt off so I can kiss you all over. I'm in the mood to finish turning you into a seraph puddle, now.”

As Rose stepped back a bit, Dezel quickly removed his shirt and tossed it aside. Then allowed her to push him down onto the bed where he waited obediently until she could remove her boots and tear off her own jacket and tunic. Then she was on him, hands pressing his to the mattress, barely covered breasts against his chest, her mouth finding his first...

* * *

It was hours later when Dezel awoke, aware that night had not yet lifted to reveal daylight. He lay in bed with Rose, naked and cuddled up against her back. The blankets covering them held in their shared warmth, making him feel safe and content. Still, he could feel his partially hardened length between them, pressed up against his partner's backside.

He shifted his position a little and reached down to lift her leg enough to allow him access. Then he was sliding into her, the sudden sensation of enveloping heat leaving him feeling so wonderfully close to the one he cherished most. Dezel hugged Rose from behind, burying his face against the back of her neck as he settled in to drift back to sleep.

“Mm, feels nice.” One of Rose's hands groped for his, covering it after a moment. “Feel good to you, too?”

“Yeah. Sorry if I woke you, though.”

“It's okay. Just stay where you are... You're so warm.”

“I will.” He nuzzled the back of her neck and sighed quietly. “And thank you, Rose.”

She squeezed his hand in response and within a mere few moments was asleep again.

Dezel lay awake a little longer, savoring her scent and her warmth. Listening to her breathe. Feeling so close and connected. So cared for. He would never deserve her, but that didn't mean he couldn't cherish every way in which she let him into her life and her being.

He sighed and slipped down beneath the surface again, resting easily.

**Author's Note:**

> Typical. I set out to write about Dezel being awkward in asking for cockwarming/consensual somnophilia and it turns into a total emotional sap-fest. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. :)


End file.
